Out of their Minds
by CrazedNarutoFan
Summary: Naruto and the others will be forced into the most embarrassing interviews of their lives. It's candid camera with a twist.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

"I wonder what's on?" a young man asked himself as he turned on the TV to Animal Planet.

**TV**- "We now join our correspondent out in the field. She has arrived at her destination. Cheyenne, are you there?"

"Yes Tom. I'm here in the foreign land of fire, exploring the mysterious village of Konohagakure. I've seen some very interesting creatures already. Roll the footage. As you can see here, an older male is trying to woo the younger women, but with no luck. The poor animal must have lost his libido years ago. And another example is…wait! Over there, quickly! It looks like he's hungry. He was just handed a bowl of ramen. Wow, look at him go! This mammal just won't stop eating! That's amazing! Oh, turn the camera! That creature is eating the same food as his dog. Now that's friendship and trust."

"What are you doing?"

"Who-oh my god! Get a close up! Folks, you are witnessing history here! This is the first time one of them has gotten this close. Young creature, what's your name?"

"Hmph. Sasuke."

"Sasuke? Well, do you have any relation to the common chicken?"

"No! Stop mocking my hair! It's a birth defect!"

"Oh, I see. Hold on a sec. I know that sound. It's a stampede!"

"Oh hell no. Not the fangirls!"

Rumbling, then silence.

"Cheyenne, are you okay?"

"Yes. Sorry we lost visual."

"What happened?"

"Tom, it seems like he was attacked. There is a trail of blood going in there direction. He might be dead. Oh well. That's the circle of life. Though, I don't see anymore creatures. They were scared off. If only… whoa, lucky me! There's one over there!"

Can you talk to it?"

I'll try. Holy… Tom!"

"Yes?"

"I don't know what to say. It seems like a once in a lifetime scene. A caveman type creature is fighting what must be a boar. The hunter is carrying a sharp object. I must take this chance to interview them."

"Just be careful."

"Don't worry. Hey, you two!"

"What is it?"

"Come here. I'd like to talk to you."

"She has a camera! This is great! We're on TV!"

"Looks like they're coming over. May I have your names?"

"I'm Sakura."

"And I'm the beautiful Ino."

"You're not beautiful, Ino-pig."

"Shut up, Billboard Brow."

"Yikes, I'd better get out of here. Hmmm, over there. Two similar species are hugging, and another two are in a tree. Let's talk to them. Oh, one just looked at us."

"Great. I won't talk to you. You're too troublesome."

"I have nothing better to do. I'll speak."

"Thank you. What's your name?"

"Kakashi Hatake."

"I see you like reading. What book is that?"

"Icha Icha Paradise."

"Tell us about it."

"Well, it's about a woman and man who love each other very much, and at the end, they start to-"

"Whoa, hold on. We do have younger viewers out there. But our time is up. Thanks to all of you who watched today. Back to you, Tom."

"Thanks Cheyenne. That's all for today people. And remember, next week is and hour long special where Cheyenne will be studying the nature and habitat of those called the Akatsuki. Until next time…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Tom- **"Welcome back. We hope you enjoyed last week's episode. Now, not to waste time, let's go to Cheyenne who is live outside of the Akatsuki lair. Go ahead, Cheyenne."

"Right, okay. We've already tried finding an entrance, but to no avail. I even took control of the camera while our newest team member, Melissa, went to search the nearby area. We had no luck there, either. We've decided to switch to a new tactic. Pizza delivery!"

**Random voice**- "It's about figgin' time!"

"Tom, did you hear that? They're coming. Look, the rocks moving!"

**Kisame**- "It took you long enough! Come in, I have to get your money. By the way, why do you have a camera?"

"Um, we're documenting our deliveries."

"Whatever. I'm Kisame, by the way. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Yeah. I'm Cheyenne and this is Melissa."

"That's cool. Hey, Itachi, get the others! The food's here!"

"Who's Itachi?"

"He's my partner."

"You mean you're…"

"Hell no!"

"Okay. Hey Tom, there are some others approaching."

"Itachi, here's your box."

**Itachi- **"They didn't screw up my order, did they?"

"No."

**Cheyenne- **"I guess these guys like food. Hey, Melissa, where are you going?"

**Melissa- **"No where. Just with Itachi."

"What?"

**Itachi- **"Melissa, can I talk to you alone?"

**Cheyenne**- "Tom, I have a bad feeling about this guy. He's looking her over."

**Melissa- "**Hmmm, sure! Cheyenne, I'll be back in a bit."

**Cheyenne- **"You know that they'll dock you pay for this?"

"It's worth the losses."

"Losses?"

"Don't worry."

"I guess I'm now filming this alone. So, why do you guys call yourselves the Akatsuki?"

**Kisame- **"Because we're evil."

"Besides being evil, what are you goals in life?"

"Well, we all have different aspirations. I for one want to melt the polar ice caps to make the ocean levels raise. Itachi wants to kill his little brother. Deidara needs to prove that his style of art is beautiful. Hidan wants to convert everyone to Jashin. Zetsu wants to eat the victims of war and Tobi, well; we don't know what he wants. Most likely ice cream."

"Oh, so you- dear god! Who is that?! What is he?"

"Him? That's Zetsu. Yeah, his teeth and eating habits tend to scare us all."

"I assume he's never had a girlfriend?"

"Never. He's still a virgin. He's never been kissed. Even his own mother was afraid of him."

"You seem to know a lot about him, you know, not being human and all. Tell me, has the Disney Corporation ever had you sign a movie contract? You look familiar."

"Why does everyone think that? No, I'm not Bruce from Finding Nemo! I could tear that pathetic excuse of a shark to shreds!"

"Easy now, Jaws. We don't need bloodshed here."

**Deidara- **"Hey, Kisame! Are you done talking to her yet? I want to get to 'know' her, un."

**Hidan- **"Yeah, I wouldn't mind 'meeting' her."

"Go back to eating you perverts! I don't think she wants to crawl into bed with either of you. If anything, she'd want me."

"Tom, I'd say that's its time to leave."

**Tom- **"Yes, that sounds smart."

"Sorry, guys, but I have to go."

"But why?"

"I have more deliveries to make."

"Fine, but 'visit' again, okay?"

"Sure thing. By the way, where's Melissa?"

**Melissa**- "I'm here."

"What the hell happened to you? Why are you wearing Itachi's cloak? Is he only in boxers?!"

"Nothing much happened. Itachi just showed me the end of the rainbow."

"We really have to go now!"

**Ten Minutes Later-**

"Tom, I'm taking a break for a few weeks. I can't take this."

"Good idea. We'll talk to the both of you soon."

"Yeah."

"Alright viewers, this will be the final episode while Cheyenne visits her therapist. Even I don't know where we'll be next time, so be prepared. Tune in soon for the continuation of life in the shinobi realm!"

**I know this sucked, but I just wanted to get it over with. It was a little more perverted, but… isn't that all what we like? This is the end of this one… thankfully.**

**Please review and try to enjoy.**


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